Letter 32

25^th March 2015

Dear Catherine,

I was so happy you changed your profile picture on Facebook last week, as it has been the same for over 4 months.  I thought maybe you had given up on Facebook and you slipped completely out of my field of vision.  In this image you look attractive and composed, with a friend, Maeve I think, dressed up for cold weather, a simple smile showing off your nice upper teeth, after your mum, and your pale Irish skin.  This image has brought you back to life almost, in my mind’s eye.  It is so strange and unreal, almost pointless, just knowing you through photographs, but I suppose it gives me a vision of your incremental growth and change in appearance as you become older.  I am going over to Belfast tomorrow evening to see your older step sister and family.  She wanted one of the kitchen dressers we used have in the dining room and I arranged to have one of them sent over to her house just after Christmas.  Last time I was there I prepared a section of wall at one end of the dining room and wallpapered it in preparation.  This weekend I am going to clean the dresser down, sand, prepare, wax it and put it together fixing it back to the wall.  I cleaned the other dresser and fixed it in my living room; you would recognise it and someday I pray you will see it.

I have an appointment with my boss tomorrow morning to discuss my future.  I have a feeling he will tell me when I am to finish up my working life.  I am past official retirement date anyway, so it’s not a big issue for me, although having worked for 47 years so far, I think it is going to be a little difficult to manage.  In all that time, I was never out of work and I doubt if I have taken more than 30 days off ill, for example in the 10 years I have been here I have taken 5 days off.  I have been lucky with my health really, long may it last.  So I could be giving up my working life at the same time as you are doing you’re A levels and launching yourself into whatever profession you have chosen.   As always I pray you choose well and progress something that you are good at and gives you satisfaction & at least some pleasure.  I pray that you will go to a good university to do your chosen course and that you meet up with good friends; Often university friends are friends for life, certainly they tend to be very important in your life. 

I don’t suppose you can imagine what makes a dad’s love; it is constant, always there, not shouting, but always available, not demanding, not expecting anything in return, always encouraging you to do the very best you can in everything you do, proud of everything you achieve, always welcoming to your friends, sad when you are sad, happy when you are happy; always waiting for you to call, although not expecting.  The love of your father will never die, even in our situation.  Every day, I will say a prayer for you, for you to achieve fulfilment and happiness.  But now I have to get back to work.  I look forward to see more images of you,

With all my love for now,           

dad  xxx                                                                           at work